INCREASE THE CALCIUM INTAKE!

Vienna, 1 August 2025

That was a low point in my annual medical check-up: my calcium values. Going into the discussion of my lab tests with our doctor, my concern had been my ferritin levels. As I’ve written in an earlier post, these have been too high for a number of years, and this year was no exception. But now I also had a problem with my calcium levels! They’ve generally been low ever since I had my thyroid removed some 15 years ago. This year, though, the levels dropped below the minimum acceptable level. But, I protested, I’ve been taking calcium supplements every day for years. Ah, the doctor replied, but if you rely too much on supplements your body doesn’t work so actively to extract calcium from your food. You have to try to meet your calcium needs through the food you eat and only take supplements if you really cannot reach the necessary values through your food. To help me, she gave me a sheet listing various foodstuffs and their calcium content.

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I started looking at it. Aha, I cried, I can greatly increase my calcium content by eating a lot of cheese! As I’ve noted in an earlier post, I have a great fondness for hard cheeses from the Alps. Ah no, the doctor said, I wouldn’t rely solely on cheese, that could well have negative impacts on your cholesterol level – and here she pointed at my cholesterol results, which did indeed come in a tad high this year. You’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t, I thought to myself …

Once home, I glumly took out the sheet and started scanning it again. First thing to figure out: how much calcium do I need to ingest every day? A quick surf of the net shows some discrepancy here. The Europeans suggest 950 mg/day, while the Americans suggest 1,200 mg/day for oldies like me. Given the weakening of my calcium glands after the removal of my thyroid, I decided to use the higher American value as my target. But I immediately began to panic. How am I going to meet this high daily target?

Even a cursory look at the list clearly indicates that if I can’t gorge on cheese I will need to eat other milk products. The product with the highest levels of calcium is cow’s milk (“Kuhmilch”). So I could just drink five glasses of milk a day and Bob’s my uncle (but only low-fat milk; cholesterol levels! … damned if you do, damned if you don’t).

The milk industry has certainly been pushing milk drinking for decades.

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But I really, really don’t like drinking milk! I stopped knocking back glasses of milk when I was a child. So I’ve decided that unless I have my back to the wall, I will just use milk as a support, adding it to the teas and coffees which I consume during the day; I will have very milky teas and coffees from now on.

What else? Well, I see that kefir has high levels of calcium, maybe I can eat loads of that. But what on earth is kefir? I’d never heard of the stuff before looking at the list. As usual, Wikipedia has come to the rescue. It tells me that kefir is a sour, slightly carbonated, slightly alcoholic beverage, with a consistency and taste similar to a thin, drinkable yogurt. Of course, I got caught up in the Wikipedia article and continued reading. I learned that kefir is prepared by inoculating milk (cow, goat or sheep milk) with so-called kefir grains, which ferment the lactic acid. These “grains” are quite intriguing. They are actually a mix of various type of bacteria and yeasts and look like this.

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It sounds like the milky equivalent to kombucha-making.

It seems that kefir was invented somewhere out in Central Asia; here is a painting of a shepherd in the Caucasus by a Russian artist.

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The Russians then adopted it (presumably after their conquest of Central Asia), and from there it spread to Central Europe – which no doubt is why I found it in our local supermarket in Vienna.

Could I drink this instead of milk? Not sure I could, at least not in its natural state – its sourness is not for me. However, I see that the local supermarket sells not only kefir in the natural state but also sweetened.

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That sounded good. But then I had a horrible doubt: what are these kefir drinks sweetened with? I have to control my sucrose and fructose intake! Or so my doctor told me a few years ago, to avoid becoming diabetic … damned if you do, damned if you don’t … I have made a mental note to check this.

Going back to the list, I see that something called “molke” in German has pretty high calcium levels. What is molke, though? Google Translate to the rescue! Molke, it turns out, is whey.

Whey … the only connection I have ever had with whey is through the nursery rhyme:

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
There came a big spider
Which sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

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Otherwise, I have never, ever seen hide nor hair of whey in my entire life. But contrary to kefir at least I know what it is, because I once wrote a post about cheese making for my daughter. Whey is basically the liquid that’s left over when you curdle milk, the curds going on to become cheese.

That’s all fine and dandy, but does my supermarket stock whey? It turns out that it does, either in natural form or sweetened.

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I have put it on my list of things to try (why I haven’t tried it yet will become apparent in a minute). In the case of the sweetened version, and for reasons I have just mentioned, I also have to check what it is sweetened with.

This was all very well, but how about some milk-derived product I can eat rather than drink? (apart from cheese, of course!) Well, looking at the list I have concluded that yogurt is the obvious choice, even if its calcium levels are somewhat lower than those in kefir and whey.

Yogurt is certainly a much-loved part of the cuisine of the countries running from the Balkans all the way east to the Indian subcontinent. Surely there could be some yogurt dishes for me in all those riches?

A quick whip around the internet has brought to light some intriguing possibilities. For instance, many of these countries have a “salad” where yogurt is a main ingredient, along with two other ingredients, cucumber and garlic. The Turkish version, called Cacik, simply adds mint to this trinity of ingredients. In the Lebanese and Syrian version, called Khyar bi Laban, mint is also added, but so is lemon juice. As for the Greeks, their version, which is called Tzatziki, uses the same four ingredients of Cacik (and derives its name from it) but then mirrors Khyar bi Laban by adding an acid to the mix, vinegar in this case rather than lemon juice. It goes one step further by adding dill and parsley, before drizzling the whole with olive oil. Even the Bulgarians have got into the act with a dish they call Snezhanka (which translates as snow-white salad – not surprising, given its dominant colour). It has the trinity of yogurt, cucumber and garlic. It has no mint, though, but it does – like the Greeks – include dill and (sometimes) parsley and a drizzle of olive oil.

Since these four salads all look rather similar, I decided to make a collage of photos of the four dishes, with Cacik in the top left followed, clockwise, by Khyar bi Laban, Tzatziki, and Snezhanka.


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Were I to go for this dish – and I would have to see if my wife would follow me; it would be a bit sad to eat it alone – I would skip the garlic, for reasons I have given in an earlier post. I would also leave out the dill; I’m no fan of this herb. But I would, like some Bulgarians do, add roasted walnuts.

Many of these countries also have yogurt-based soups, which can be eaten either hot or cold depending on the season. Given that it is currently summer, I’ll start with some examples of cold soups. One of the simplest comes from Türkiye, where the Turks turn Cacik into a cold soup by using watery yogurt instead of a strained yogurt. Iranians have a similar soup, Abdoogh khiar, where yogurt and ice cubes are mixed together with cucumbers, raisins, salt, pepper and onions, the whole topped with some croutons made of Persian traditional bread. Bulgaria and other Balkan countries also have a similar cold soup, Tarator, where a watery yogurt is mixed with cucumber, garlic, walnut, dill, and olive or other vegetable oil. It can, like Abdoogh khiar, even be served with ice to really chill it. The peoples living in the border area between Azerbaijan and Iran eat a cold soup called Dovga, which, unlike the previous examples, does not include cucumber or garlic. Instead, the yogurt is mixed with a variety of herbs. These change seasonally and regionally, but usually will include coriander, dill, and mint; spinach can also be added. Cooks sometimes go one step further and add rice or chickpeas, or even meatballs, to the mix.

As in the case of the salads, and for the same reason, I show here a collage of these soups, with Cacik at the top left followed, clockwise, by Abdoogh khiar, Tarator, and Dovga.

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Not surprisingly, all these soups can also be eaten warm in winter. Which allows me to introduce other yogurt-based soups normally eaten warm. Since we are in the Iranian-Azerbaijani border area, let me mention another soup from that region, Aash-e doogh. To the yogurt are added different kind of herbs (such as coriander, leek, tarragon, mint, and parsley), vegetables (such as spinach, purslane, chickpeas, peas, onion and garlic), but also lamb meatballs, eggs, rice, salt and several types of spices.

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There are many other types of yogurt-based soup, but I think we all get the gist: take yogurt, add the herbs you like, add some vegetables if you want, or pulses, and maybe if you’re feeling adventurous some eggs or meat. Again, before starting to make yogurt-based soups, I will have to see if my wife will follow me on this culinary adventure.

There’s a whole other variety of soups from this part of the world to which yogurt is added, but in a rather special guise: the yogurt is first turned into a form appropriate for long-term storage by fermenting and drying it, and maybe mixing it with other ingredients like crushed bulgur wheat. This is popular in the cuisines of Iran, the Caucasus, and Central Asia, and known variously as kashk, kishk, qurut, qurt, kurut, kurt, qqet, jameed, shilanch, chortan, aaruul or khuruud. Here is an example of the genre.

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A ball of this stuff can be crumbled into soups (among other dishes) to give them some whoomph. Fascinating as it sounds, I think I’ll probably give this particular culinary exploration a miss. I’m certainly not going to start drying and fermenting yogurt, and anyway taken this way I wonder how much calcium I would be ingesting – the whole point of this exercise. I’ll just limit myself to checking if a soup prepared this way is on the menu of the next Turkish or Iranian restaurant we go to in Vienna, just to see what it tastes like (I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an Azerbaijani restaurant in Vienna).

And then there are all the dishes from the Indian subcontinent made with yogurt! They all sound incredibly delicious but require many ingredients that I would be hard-pressed to source in Vienna (or in Milan, for that matter). I’ll just mention one dish – a drink actually – from that part of the world, and that is lassi. My wife and I discovered the sweetened version of lassi several decades ago, during an outing to an Indian restaurant, and ever since we always look for it on the menu of Indian restaurants we go to. The yogurt has to be thin enough to drink, and it is sweetened with sugar and flavoured with mango or other fruit juice. Delicious!

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I think I could just about manage to prepare this – although I would need to use sweetener rather than sugar.

This is all in a possible future. In the here and now, I’m eating yogurt the way I’ve always eaten it, sweetened. My wife and I have just come back from Los Angeles, where we were visiting our daughter, partner, and grandson. We arrived there shortly after that fateful visit to the doctor (which is why I still haven’t tried some of the possibilities I’ve mentioned earlier). She is very interested in nutrition and came up with a yogurt-based calcium bomb: a big dollop of low-fat yogurt (good for the cholesterol levels!), seasoned with blueberries (good for the ferritin levels!), sprinkled with a generous dose of chia seeds, and sweetened with artificial sweetener. It doesn’t look all that great but it’s really quite tasty.

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The key to this mixture is the chia seeds. My daughter discovered that these seeds are absolutely packed with calcium, at levels five times higher, gram per gram, than yogurt! In fact, nuts and seeds – particularly seeds – are generally good sources of calcium, as readers can see if they go back to the sheet the doctor gave me (under the section entitled “Nüsse, Samen”).

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Well, that’s a turn up for the books! I’m quite partial to nuts and am pleased to now have a good excuse to munch on them (although they also contain quite a lot of fat – cholesterol levels! … damned if you do, damned if you don’t). Seeds are even better, calcium-wise, than nuts, although I don’t see myself putting a fistful of seeds into my mouth; they’ll have to be added to something else. Looking at that list of nuts and seeds, I see that “Mohn” has very high levels of calcium, even higher than chia. What is this mohn? Time to wheel out Google Translate again! And it turns out that mohn are poppy seeds! Well now, that is interesting! I know that poppy seeds are a popular ingredient in Austrian cuisine and the cuisine of Central Europe more generally. I’ve eaten them sprinkled on pastries or cakes.

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Now that I’m back in Vienna, I need to see if I can buy poppy seeds in large quantities. If I can, I’ll have them take the place of the chia seeds in my daughter’s yogurt concoction – think global, act local!

I can’t just eat yogurt, though, to maximize my calcium intake. What else could I eat? Well, I can forget about meats and fish as significant sources of calcium; there’s so little calcium in them that they’re not even on the list. My daughter said I could eat the bones of fish when they’re small, but once, when I was a boy, I got a fish bone stuck in my throat, such an unpleasant experience that I keep as far away as possible from fish bones. Fruits aren’t brilliant either. As for vegetables, a few stand out as having a good amount of calcium: fennels, broccoli, green cabbage, and chard (“mangold” in German).

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I’m pleased to see that fennels pack a good calcium punch; I’m very fond of this vegetable, as I’ve related in a previous post. I’m also extremely fond of chard, about which I’ve written enthusiastically in the past. It makes me think that other greens like beetroot greens, kale, and spinach might also be full of calcium; to be checked (but what about the iron they also contain? Ferritin levels! … damned if you do, damned if you don’t). Broccoli is also a favourite of mine, as long as it is steam-cooked. I’m doubtful about green cabbage, though; I find it too bitter to eat raw and it smells too much when cooked. Maybe red cabbage, which I will gladly eat raw in salad, also packs a good calcium punch? I will need to check; Savoy cabbage, for instance, which is on the list (“wirsing kohl” in German), has much lower calcium levels than green cabbage.

Well, it’s now time to create meals around all this that give me enough protein, that don’t exaggerate on the carbs and fats, that give me the calcium I need, that give me lots of polyphenols to help control my ferritin levels but at the same time don’t exaggerate on the iron, … It’s like solving a multi-dimensional algebraic equation. Let’s see what we can do.

CHEESE, GLORIOUS CHEESE!

Beijing, 24 June 2014

My wife and I were having our usual chat with our daughter via FaceTime when she announced that she and her flat mate had been discussing the vital question of why cheeses were different from each other.

Well! That was more than enough bait for a nerd like myself to rise to. With eyes a-shinin’ and lips a-lickin’, I started to research the topic. It was actually a question I had also often posed myself: how on earth did you get so many different-tasting products out of the same rather bland starting material, milk?

I am proud to announce the results of my research. The answer is …. “The most important agents include the four following elements: rennet, starter bacteria and associated enzymes, milk enzymes, second starter bacteria and associated enzymes, and non-starter bacteria”. OK, that’s not very clear, so let me expand a little.

The first step in cheese making is curdling. In fresh, unpasteurized milk, curdling happens naturally. Attack by bacteria floating around in the air and settling on the milk leads to the formation of lactic acid, and it is heightened acidity that causes milk to curdle, separating out into solid curds and liquid whey. But we humans have learned to help the process along. Rennet, which is a complex of enzymes, seems to have been an early favourite for inducing curdling. An interesting theory I read is that our ancestors discovered the milk-curdling properties of rennet when they used animal stomachs as storage vessels for milk. FYI, mammalian stomachs naturally contain rennet as an evolutionary response to milk drinking (which is what makes a mammal a mammal rather than, say, a bird or a reptile). It allows young mammals to digest their mothers’ milk.

Or you can use acids. Given that you want to eat the result, you probably don’t want to use sulphuric acid or hydrochloric acid, even though I’m sure they would do the trick. Naturally-occurring (and edible) acids like vinegar and lemon juice will do nicely.

Or you don’t wait for some random bacteria floating around to attack the milk. Instead, you deliberately inoculate milk with so-called starter bacteria (often adding rennet in a second step). Presumably from previous trials and errors which occurred who knows how many centuries ago in monastery cellars or elsewhere

monks in cellar

these various strains of bacteria are known to give specific tastes to the final cheese. They will chemically attack the milk, and later the curds, in differing ways, giving rise to chemical products with different tastes.

In any event, one way or the other you will end up with curds

curds

and whey

Whey

Like little Miss Muffet who sat on a tuffet, you can already eat the curds and whey if you so wish, preferably before a spider turns up and spoils your appetite.

little miss muffet

That is basically what cottage cheese is, loose curds

cottage cheese

while after a period when whey was considered only good for poor peasants, whey-based drinks are gaining a certain popularity with the health conscious.

whey-based drink

Alternatively, you can take the curds and start pressing them to get rid of liquid. Depending on how much you press them and process them thereafter, you’ll get a whole series of fresh cheeses: pot cheese, farmer’s cheese, hoop cheese, sour milk cheese, curd cheese, cream cheese, and a thousand others made in non-English cultures. I will mention three of these, the Italian mozzarella (where the curds are actually stretched and kneaded), the French fromage blanc, and the Austrian topfen: mozzarella, because it has to be the best cheese in the world; fromage blanc, because my French grandmother used to serve it when I was young and I always have it when I go back to France; topfen, because I discovered this cheese in the form of the dish topfenstrudel when we moved to Vienna. I will let this photo of farmer’s cheese stand for the whole class of fresh cheeses.

Farmer Cheese

Let me also mention boursin cheese, because (a) my daughter, who set me off on this posting, likes it, (b) it is a good example of the mixing of other ingredients – in this case garlic and fines herbes – with fresh cheese to make a new product (walnuts is another popular ingredient in this category) and (c) when I was young it had a really cool advertising line, “Du pain, du vin, du boursin”

boursin pub

Fresh cheese is just that, fresh. If you don’t process it further, it will spoil. The most basic preserver of cheese is salt, which has been used for millennia to preserve all sorts of food (salt also firms up the texture of cheese, by the way). So as a salute to salt, let me first deal with brined cheeses, which are cheeses that are matured in a brine solution. This is the main type of cheese produced in the Middle East and the Mediterranean areas: Greek feta, Cypriot halloumi, South-Eastern European sirene, Romanian telemea, Middle Eastern akkawi, Egyptian mish (which is also pickled), …. I will let a photo of feta cheese stand in for the class of brined cheeses.

feta

In other cases, … well, the pressed curds seem to be processed in a bewilderingly different number of ways. They will always be salted (to put off spoilage). Some will be heated (which will kill off some, but not all, bacteria). Others will be washed (getting rid of acid and so making them milder to eat). Some are gently set in moulds (soft cheeses), others have the curds ruthlessly crumbled before being subject to moulding (hard cheeses). Then the cheeses are left to ripen for anything from three weeks to several years. But they aren’t left alone, oh no! Many are regularly washed, which helps to form the rinds and keep the cheese moist and no doubt to impart specific tastes. Brine is a common washing solution. In some cases, just to complicate things, the brine is aromatized with herbs. Alcoholic beverages are also popular rinses: wine, cider, beer, and just about any other alcoholic drink known to man. Or the cheeses are sprayed or injected with molds, or smeared with bacteria or molds or yeasts. Or some are smoked. And after all of this, cheese makers still keep fiddling: with humidity levels, with temperature, and with I don’t know what else. All of which gives rise to a dizzying variety of cheeses: they can be soft, or semi-soft, or medium-firm, or firm, or hard; their texture can be brittle, chalky, chewy, creamy, crumbly, flaky, grainy, runny, sticky; they can taste ammoniated, buttery, clean, complex, fermented, herbal, mild, musty, nutty, ripe, robust, salty, smoky, sour, spicy, sweet, tangy, tart, yeasty.

And I haven’t mentioned the effect on taste and texture of what is really the very, very first step in cheese-making, the choice of milk. I think you can make cheese from any mammalian milk (some clever fellows have even made cheese from human milk), but in practice cow’s milk dominates. Goat’s milk is also popular in many parts of the world, while sheep’s milk gets an honourable mention. Water buffalo’s milk is a must for mozzarella. Yak’s milk is used by the Mongolians and Tibetans. The Mongolians also use horse mare’s milk, while Afghanis and Pakistanis use camel’s milk. The Finns use reindeer’s milk, while Serbians have a tradition of making cheese with donkey’s milk. As anyone knows who has eaten goat’s cheese, for instance, the choice of milk sure changes the taste of the cheese. And of course milk isn’t just milk! There are those who insist that what the animals ate – hay versus grass versus any old crap – will affect the milk and therefore the taste of the cheese, so there are cheeses where – it is claimed – only milk from cows eating grass is used. And the time of the year in which the milk is produced, others say, affects its biochemical makeup, so there are cheeses which, I read, should only be made in March, or October, or …

All of this is enough to give one a strong headache …

Out of all of this seeming chaos, I have managed to extract a few categories of ripened cheeses to describe in more detail. Let me start with those cheeses which have molds sprayed onto them, principally of the penicillin family, and which give rise to rinds with white blooms on them. The best known of these has to be the French Camembert, whose surface is sprayed with a mold that is so linked to the cheese that it is named after it, Penicillium camemberti.

Camembert

After years of eating it too, I feel I should also mention the French Brie.

Then there are the cheeses where the mold is injected into them. The French Roquefort and English Stilton fall into this category, although I will have a picture of the Italian Gorgonzola stand in for this group

gorgonzola

for the completely trivial reason that when I drove through the village of Gorgonzola (which is near Milan) for the first time, I belatedly realized that actually the cheese was named after a real place.

Then there are the cheeses whose rinses encourage the growth on the rinds of another bacterium, Brevibacterium linens, which gives these cheeses their characteristic pinkish-reddish tint. This bacterium is ubiquitous on the human skin, so no prizes for guessing how it ended up on the cheeses. It is also why our feet smell when sweaty, which no doubt explains why the cheeses in this category tend to stink (it looks like we weren’t so wrong when as boys at school we accused each other of having socks which smelled of old cheese). There are some well-known cheeses in this category like Munster, Limburger, and Port-du-Salut, but I will use as a stand-in for this group a cheese that sadly no longer seems to exists but was a family favourite when I was young: crotte du diable, devil’s droppings (I have mentioned this cheese in a previous post).

crotte du diable

The cheese was very aptly named, having an incredibly foul-smelling rind, so foul that you had to wash your hands very thoroughly after eating it. But the cheese itself was wonderfully smooth.

I have to mention another cheese in this category, the Swiss Raclette. My wife introduced me to this cheese. She had got to know it well during her skiing days in the Alps. During our time in Paris, in the early 1980s, we discovered a little restaurant just off the Champs Elysées where you could get a glorious raclette, served just the way it should be, scraped (raclé) onto your plate and served with gherkins, pickled onions, and potatoes in their jacket.

Raclette

When we went back to Paris many years later, we homed in on the place for lunch like bees for their hive. Alas! the restaurant was gone. Glumly, we wandered into a nearby restaurant and had ourselves a totally non-descript lunch. Sic transit gloria mundi.

I can’t think what other categories to extract from this mass of cheeses (over 700 of them according to www.cheese.com). So I’ll just salute a few cheeses which I personally consider deserve special mention:

The great, the glorious, the incomparable, Parmigiano Reggiano

Parmigiano reggiano

not to be grated onto some anonymous pasta, and not to be shaved onto some anonymous salad, but to be eaten alone, flake by grainy flake, slowly and with hushed reverence. When, a few years ago, my wife and I saw that a rare earthquake in Emilia Romagna had wrecked a couple of Parmigiano Reggiano storehouses, we briefly toyed with the idea of jumping onto the first airplane back to Italy and picking up some slightly damaged wheels of the cheese on the cheap. Good sense eventually prevailed.

Emmental

Emmental

which for me somehow is my youth (my mother was a generous purchaser of the cheese), and whose holes (which I have just learned are called “eyes” in the trade) fascinated me. With old age, I have become boringly scientific and now know that the eyes are caused by the use in the starter bacteria of the bacterium Propionibacterium freudenreichii, which consumes lactic acid and excretes CO2; the latter creates bubbles, which we see as eyes (if you get my drift). In the old days, these eyes were considered defects to be avoided, but no doubt after seeing how the eyes made the cheese popular with children and therefore with their parents, emmental makers began to encourage their presence.

Then I pass on to scamorza affumicata, which is not that well-known outside of Italy. Like mozzarella, it’s a stretched curd cheese which is then allowed to ripen. Makers form a ball and then tie a string around it to hang up in the store room, which explains its “strangled” shape.

scamorza

It looks like this inside.

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It is best when smoked, and best eaten grilled on bread. It was one of the Italian foodstuffs which my wife introduced me to when we first met.

And finally, goat’s cheese. Not those fussy little rolls you find in upscale shops, often covered in herbs or pepper or some other thing. No, I mean the goat’s cheese which I would eat at my grandmother’s house in France, which looked like this

fromage de chevre

The ones I ate were made by the farmer’s wife down the road. When we needed some, my mother or grandmother would give me the money, I would hop on my Solex and speed over to the farm, and after a little chit-chat – “how are you? how are the children?’ – she would take me out to the yard, where in an old bird cage sat a number of goat cheeses of differing ages. After some thoughtful discussion, I would choose a few, ranging from the fresh to the somewhat aged. Ah, those cheeses were soooo good!

I cannot end without a mention of Fondue, even though it’s a cheese dish rather than a cheese, because it’s just so … damned … good. It can be made from quite a number of cheeses, often mixed together, produced in the Alps or in the nearby Jura mountains: the Swiss Gruyère, Emmental, Vacherin, Sbrinz, and Appenzeller; the French Comté, Beaufort, and Reblochon; or the Italian Fontina. The key, of course, is the white wine. Here’s how you prepare a fondue: (1) Rub the inside of the pot with garlic. (2) Lightly heat the white wine with cornstarch (used to prevent separation of wine and cheese). (3) Add the grated cheese or cheeses and stir until it is all melted. (4) Top off with a bit of kirsch. Start eating, dipping chunks of bread into the pot.

fondue

Fondue has become so linked with Switzerland that Astérix, that bellwether of popular European culture, has fondue playing a prominent part in the album Astérix chez les Hélvètes. But in a bout of creative delirium the writer, Goscinny, and the illustrator, Uderzo, laced this most Swiss of traditions with debauchery borrowed from Federico Fellini’s much-discussed film Satyricon, which came out a year before the Asterix album was published and scandalized many. Satyricon included a series of Roman orgies, full of painted faces, feelings of ennui, mechanical gorging of elaborate food, and sado-masochistic punishments. So the fondue parties organized by Goscinny-Uderzo’s Roman governor of Helvetia take the form of orgies – although, to the governor’s great irritation, they are much too clean; this is Switzerland, after all.

asterix and fondue

The scenes pick up on a tradition that if you lose your bread in the fondue pot, you are punished in some way: for instance, a man has to buy a round of drinks, while a woman has to kiss her neighbours. In the case of Asterix, the young fool is thrown into Lake Geneva with weights attached to his feet, another nod to the casual brutality which filled Satyricon.

Anyway, these are my choices. I’m sure each one of my readers has his or her own list of favourites. I earnestly suggest that they immediately rush out, buy one or more of their favourites, and gorge themselves in a wild bout of cheese-eating.

And I hope I’ve answered my daughter’s question about how cheese is made.

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Monks in a cellar: http://p9.storage.canalblog.com/95/74/180464/28709536.jpg [in http://toutinfrimage.canalblog.com/archives/2008/08/07/10163569.html%5D
Curds: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e_yg4m7wR4g/Toy0E_DhaOI/AAAAAAAAChs/Qmjyg7II6Gw/s1600/salting_curds.jpg [in http://cooking-from-scratch.blogspot.com/2011/10/cottage-cheese.html
Whey: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-n-UC59ZGNzg/T7sTeo1GtWI/AAAAAAAABCM/9qzvn0wQ3U0/s1600/Whey.jpg [in http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/05/making-whey-protein-and-cream-cheese-try-these-unique-food-products.html%5D
Little Miss Muffet: http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/nwitimes.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/e/b6/eb652bda-d380-5344-a681-06a4de4af8d6/52e7fed631b22.preview-699.jpg [in http://www.nwitimes.com/lifestyles/food-and-cooking/from-the-farm-reader-looking-for-healthy-blender-drink-recipe/article_e8c2a9b9-4658-54a3-9d24-8f00640a8484.html%5D
Cottage cheese: http://uptownmagazine.com/files/2014/05/uptown-kraft-cottage-cheese-recall.jpe [in http://uptownmagazine.com/2014/05/kraft-recall-cottage-cheese/%5D
Whey-based drink: http://www.ebperformance.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/proteinjuice-bottles.png [in http://www.ebperformance.com/products/protein-drinks/%5D
Farmer’s cheese: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_a-oLImtGrzM/S_Mpn-DOErI/AAAAAAAAAr0/ivqGKz6av4s/s1600/Blog+Raw+Milk+Farmer+Cheese+8.jpg [in http://artistta.blogspot.com/2010/05/homemade-raw-milk-farmer-cheese.html%5D
Feta cheese: http://www.yiannislucacos.gr/sites/default/files/ingredient318_feta2.jpg [in http://www.yiannislucacos.gr/en/ingredient/2404/feta-cheese%5D
Boursin publicity: http://www.boursin.ch/uploads/pics/Indexbild_ganze_Breite_2011_01.jpg [in http://www.boursin.ch/%5D
Camembert: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/88/Camembert.JPG [in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camembert%5D
Gorgonzola: http://blog.fairwaymarket.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/GorgonzolaCheese.jpg [in http://blog.fairwaymarket.com/2011/10/blue-cheese-moldy-cheese-day/%5D
Crotte du diable: http://p1.storage.canalblog.com/18/34/180464/7469035.jpg [in http://toutinfrimage.canalblog.com/archives/2006/10/15/2911082.html
Raclette: http://www.gentlemansgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Traditional-Raclette.jpg [in http://www.gentlemansgazette.com/dinner-party-ideas-how-to-host/%5D
Parmigiano Reggiano: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5b/Parmigiano_reggiano_piece.jpg [in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parmigiano-Reggiano%5D
Emmental: http://cheesecrafters.ca/wp/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/full_Emmental.jpg [in http://cheesecrafters.ca/products/emmental/%5D
Scamorza affumicata: http://www.lascelta.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/700×477/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/f/o/for022aff.jpg [in http://www.lascelta.com/formaggi/semi-stagionati/scamorza-bianca-1.html%5D
Scamorza-inside: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/85/Scamorza.jpg [in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scamorza%5D
Goat’s cheese: http://www.fromagerie-martin.com/photos/crottindechevre_23071.jpg [in http://www.fromagerie-martin.com/fiche_produit.php?id=23071%5D
Fondue: http://postfiles15.naver.net/20140430_30/cheesemarket_1398825823552cruRM_JPEG/%C6%FE%B5%E04.JPG?type=w2 [in http://blog.naver.com/PostView.nhn?blogId=cheesemarket&logNo=90194981830&categoryNo=0&parentCategoryNo=21&viewDate=&currentPage=1&postListTopCurrentPage=1%5D
Asterix and fondue: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-94znst74TRI/TwEM1x4890I/AAAAAAAAPzA/OoSEUFiQkN0/s1600/asterix+chez+les+helvetes.jpg [in http://heavenlypalate.blogspot.com/2012/01/cheese-fondue-great-cheesy-meal-during.html%5D